When Things Fall Apart: Finding Calm in Family Life

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When Things Fall Apart Monday Moments with The Inspired Nana

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Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things simply fall apart.

Families are constantly navigating the many moving parts of everyday life. School schedules, work, appointments, childcare, meals, activities, household responsibilities, and all the little things that need to happen to keep a family moving forward can create a delicate rhythm.

When everything is working, that rhythm can bring a wonderful sense of peace and stability to a household.

But what happens when something interrupts it?

These days, our lives are increasingly connected to technology. Our phones and computers have become essential parts of how many families communicate and organize their days. A disruption in internet service or technology can suddenly create an unexpected amount of stress.

Remote work may be interrupted. A parent may not be able to communicate with a school, doctor, or babysitter. Homeschooling assignments may be inaccessible. An important appointment may be difficult to confirm. Even something as simple as being on time can suddenly become much more complicated.

And when all of those little disruptions happen at once, the energy in a household can change very quickly—from calm to stressed.

I experienced a little reminder of this myself recently when the internet went out where I was staying in the mountains. Something that normally seems so simple suddenly became unavailable, and plans had to change.

It made me think about how important it is to have something within ourselves that we can return to when circumstances outside of us become unsettled.

As parents and grandparents, we often become the emotional center of the household. Children look to the adults around them to understand whether something that has gone wrong is truly something to fear—or simply something that needs to be worked through.

That doesn’t mean we should pretend that challenges aren’t frustrating.

They are.

It means learning how to pause before reacting.

For me, practices such as meditation, Tai Chi, yoga, exercise, and walking have become valuable ways of returning to that center. When they are part of my regular routine, I find that I am better able to recover when the unexpected happens.

The problem doesn’t necessarily disappear.

But my response to it can change.

Instead of immediately becoming overwhelmed, I can take a breath, step back, and ask myself:

What can I do about this—and what do I simply need to accept for now?

That distinction can be incredibly freeing.

Children are watching us during these moments. They notice whether the adults around them become frantic or whether they are able to remain grounded when plans change.

When we demonstrate that a disruption doesn’t have to become a crisis, we are teaching children something far more valuable than simply getting through that particular difficult day.

We are teaching them resilience.

We are showing them that sometimes the computer doesn’t work. Sometimes the internet goes down. Sometimes plans change. Sometimes we are late. Sometimes the weather doesn’t cooperate. Sometimes things simply don’t go according to plan.

And that’s okay.

Life is not meant to be perfectly orderly every day.

There is tremendous security for children in knowing that the adults they depend upon can adapt when things don’t go as expected.

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our children and grandchildren is the ability to accept that some circumstances are outside of our control while still knowing that we have choices about how we respond.

We can breathe.

We can slow down.

We can take a walk.

We can step away for a few minutes.

We can laugh at the absurdity of a situation.

And then we can begin again.

Because eventually, the internet comes back.

The appointment gets rescheduled.

The work gets done.

The children get where they need to go.

And the household finds its rhythm again.

Life will always have interruptions.